Things that go bump in the night...

Let me start out by saying, it has been years since I have had anything that resembles a slumber party. This weekend, the bride's family was kind enough to let the Stewardess and I stay at the house with the family. We shared a room. All went well the first night, as we were both dead tired. Friday night, however, she decided in her sleep that she had had enough of peace, so she hit me, yes, hit me, in her sleep.
William Golding once said that "Sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as from a dustbin upset in a high wind." Perhaps that is so. I have had a lot of stressful situations in the last few weeks, and among them was finding out that my one surviving grandparent has cancer, which I found out just a day or two earlier.
I don't know what I had been dreaming before, but all of the sudden (after she hit me) I dreamed that someone was trying to grab me. I did the extremely logical thing and seeing as I couldn't get very far without falling off the bed, I pushed the attacker away. Hard. So hard in fact, that a very dazed Stewardess fell off the bed. She fell about two and a half feet and was very lucky not to have smacked her head on the nightstand on her way down. She screamed. She claims I screamed, "GRANDMOTHER!!!", but I only remember "GET AWAY FROM ME." Who knows.
After realizing it was the other Bridesmaid and not some maniac, and having a clear conscience having acted in self-defense, I promptly fell back asleep mumbling some sort of "I must have been dreaming" excuse. The next morning, we were laughing so hard, the Bride had to come in to check on us. "Your Bridesmaid tried to murder me," the Stewardess laughed, as we told the story. "Whatever," I said. "You awakened a sleeping giant. And nothing would have happened it you hadn't hit me in the first place." "Bumped you." She corrected. And we argued on.